I'm so grateful to have all of you here today!
Because each and every one of you MATTER!
Because God has a purpose and a plan for you!
Heavenly Father,
As we gather today to praise Your name. All have gathered for You. Heaven and earth sing Your praises. As we worship You, may we walk in Your love, Your light and glorify Your name always.
In Jesus' Name
Amen
"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."
John 10:10
There are many obstacles and obstructions that block us from healthy and happy relationships.
Everyday Stress: a state that arises from an imbalance between demand and capability. You must accomplish something and you do not know how or do not possess the tools you need. On the average, 60% of Americans report feeling great stress at least once a week. When we constantly push ourselves to the limit emotionally, stress is magnified and hurts our relationships. If someone is stressed out easily and they quickly can go into anger mode something must be dealt with.
Satanic Assault- The path of marriage has been forged by God. God has always intended marriage to be a stronghold of honor companionship and love. Any deviation from Gods plan is something that has to be corrected.
"For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church."
Ephesians 5:29
"Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her"
Ephesians 5:24-25
"For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."
Ephesians 5:30-33
Cherish: To treat with tenderness and affection; to give warmth, ease or comfort to. To hold as dear; to embrace with affection; to foster, and encourage; to treat in a manner to encourage growth, by protection, aid, attendance, or supplying nourishment;
To harbor: To indulge and encourage in the mind
The modern day marriage is far from biblical Godly principles and precepts.
How do we fight off this continual barrage from hell on our homes?
"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might."
Ephesians 6:10
We have unrealistic Expectations!
We somehow believe marriage will complete us – Let me just say to these folks, you do not realize marriage will not make a broken person whole; you must be whole before you marry.
Then there is the Knight in the shining armor syndrome – the other person will never be moody or have a bad day and will always do what I want.
Happily ever after syndrome - Job 14:1 "man is of few days and full of trouble"
Love will keep us together – all you need is a love song to says so
Only divine love conquers all!
Say that with me..
Only divine love conquers all!
This may come as a shock to many of you:
No one person can fulfill all of your needs, nor will you be the ultimate supplier of all of your spouse's needs.
Selfishness/Sin- I and me are the Gods of the age today. Marriage was designed to be a team effort. If your relationship is built around just "I," there is a boundary between you and your spouse, but if it is built around "us", there is a boundary around us. Me and I are the most poisonous words in marriage.
According to 1 Peter 3:7, wives are meant to honored!
"Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered."
1 Peter 3:7
"Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror."
1 Peter 3:1-6
The surest way to cause trouble in the home is for someone to be a prideful, spoiled brat and not do the Word of the Lord.
Usually there is the dilemma of rights. He or she can't boss me around and then there is the “I'm not moving/budging syndrome.”
Even if I am wrong I am not going to admit it. I will act as if I don’t understand.
This is foolish and immature. For the person who wants to look grown and wise this is dumb.
At some point, we need to stop blaming one another and admit and own our part for the mess.
Give each other a clean slate, and then go forward!
The Path Of Dissatisfaction
After hurts and let downs we want to minimize any future hurts and we want to guard ourselves against further damage.
It’s a process. Day by day, emotion-by-emotion it begins with distancing emotionally. If I do not love him/her deeply he/she cannot hurt me deeply. This is self-preservation.
Being unappreciated turns to a feeling of being used, then being abused, then the feeling of being nonexistent and then resentment begins to sets in.
When we are unrecognized we feel abandoned and hurt.
There Are Two Levels Of Disaffection:
The earlier signs of distancing:
Working too much, to stay away from home.
Involving yourself in too many problems to not communicate.
Tuning out.
Not sharing about everyday life.
The severing of simple acts of kindness, for example: "Please", “Thank you.”
Then comes ignoring, insulting, hurting, badgering, intimidating, withholding love and embarrassing our spouse frequently.
Living with the terrible secret that I am unhappy in this marriage.
This secret is withheld because of fear of being hurt again.
And also the fear that our spouse will be unhappy with us also.
Dr. John Gottman, a professor at the University of Washington, wrote about the four horses, couples ride to their own destruction. These four horses represent dangerous and wrong ways to communicate.
Criticism – makes the other feel like they cannot do anything right. They feel like they are inadequate as a person. It covers the person in shame.
Contempt – intention to insult and abuse them with words. Words are wielded like a bat, calling names, making fun of, put-downs. The results of physical abuse are apparent outside black eyes, bruises, the results of contempt results in inner pain.
Defensiveness – Our not wanting to confess to wrongdoing. When we don’t want to take ownership of our own actions. It is always his or her fault. The abuser oftentimes says "You make me do this." All of us can get people to side with us. It is important at times for us to be godly enough to receive rebuke and correction.
Stonewalling- cold, unresponsive, a stone wall, non participator, decide to stop working on the issues, this does not get better by itself.
In closing,
Let's face it, marriage is at best, often difficult.
After all, it's a relationship, between two imperfect people.
As our text states there is a lineup that is ordained of God and if we're not lined up as God has said then we our out of His will and our prayers will not be answered.
"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."
1 Peter 5:6-8
I know that there are some, who will not want to hear what this message teaches..
But my job, my purpose of standing here before you, is not to teach the things you want to hear, but to teach what the Word of God says..
Lord,
Before we leave here today, open our hearts , our minds and our ears, that each one of us will hear what the Spirit is saying to the church
And give us the wisdom and knowledge, to apply Your message to our lives!
And now may the Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you
The Lord lift up His Countenance upon you,
And give you peace.
Now and forever, in Jesus' name
Amen and Amen
Brian Monzon Ministries