We are in lesson six of our series:
The Path To Freedom.
I've entitled this message: Repairing Relationships.
Let's review quickly the steps that lead to Spiritual and Emotional Freedom:
Reality: Realize I’m not God. I realize that without Him I’m powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and my life is unmanageable.
Hope: Earnestly believe that God exists and that I matter to Him and that He has the power to help me recover.
Control: Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.
Examine: Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust.
Submit: Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.
And new for today...
Evaluate:
"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."
Ephesians 4:31-32
Forgive those who have hurt me. Why?
Because God has forgiven you! And you have received God's forgiveness!
You didn't earn it, you didn't deserve it, your words and actions hurt Him, you rejected Him..
(all the excuses I've heard people use towards forgiving others.)
Guess what?
He forgave you!
So part of being a "new creation" is forgiveness..
"bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do."
Colossians 3:13
So why forgive?
Because resentment does not work:
"For wrath kills a foolish man,
And envy slays a simple one."
Job 5:2
Resentment is Unreasonable:
"You who tear yourself in anger,
Shall the earth be forsaken for you?
Or shall the rock be removed from its place?"
Job 18:4
Basically, you are hurting yourself with your anger!
One example of this is Indiana Pacers player Artest who was laying on the score table and a fan threw beer in his face at a recent game in Auburn Hills, Detroit. Artest jumped up from the table and charged the fans in a violent rage: the result was a riot and Artest was suspended for 1 year from the NBA without pay: that is a whopping 5 million dollars that he will not receive, and why? Because he got angry at the fans. What should he have done? He should have let security handle any disrespectful fans and ignored them.
Often when we try to take matters into our own hands when its not our place, we can do more harm than good, and even hurt ourselves the most because of our anger.
Resentment is not helpful:
"One dies in his full strength, Being wholly at ease and secure;
His pails are full of milk, And the marrow of his bones is moist.
Another man dies in the bitterness of his soul."
Job 21:23-25
Resentment is unhealthy:
Resentment will cause a person to lose sleep and long-term will even cause a variety of health complications that, believe me, you don’t want.
"And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”
Mark 11:25-26
Forgive and let it go!
Say that with me,
Forgive and Let It go!
Another reason why we should forgive is because you will need forgiveness in the future.
How Do I forgive?
Reveal my hurt:
Make a list of those who have harmed me and what they said….. thought…. what they did.
Release my offender.
Don’t wait for them to ask!
Remember, this is not for their benefit, it's for yours!
"Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven."
Matthew 18:21-22
It’s got to be continual. Why? Because life is continual and life is full of surprises. Bad things happen to the most righteous and upright of people. Good people know how to forgive.
Use the Empty Box Technique:
In other words, take an empty box, fill it up with things that are important to you.
The empty box represents the void or anger inside you.
Where there was once anger, let there now be peace.
If we fill the empty box, with the treasures of the heart, anger will not be able to return to the filled box.
The same is true with our hearts!
"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord."
Colossians 3:15-16
With Thanksgiving Day coming upon us, this is a great time to exercise!
This is not a day of turkey and trimmings..
It's day of Thanksgiving:
Encourage your children to be also thankful by setting the example. This thankful attitude will set the stage for God’s peace in your children and your home.
Get a bowl, have each person write on a 3 or 4 small pieces of paper something they're thankful for. It can be anything..
Fold it up and place it in the bowl.
Have each person draw out a piece of paper and read it.
We all have so much to be thankful for each day!
Make amends to those I’ve hurt:
Why?
"looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled."
Hebrews 12:15
How do we make amends?
Make a list of those I’ve harmed and what I did: This could be unpaid personal debts, broken or forgotten promises, over controlling, over possessiveness, hypercritical, abusive verbally, emotional abuse, physical abuse, unfaithfullness, Lying:
Now consider how you would like others to make amends to you...
Timing is everything!
It is also important to have the right attitude:
Sometimes we know what to do, but we don’t know when to do it: wait on God and He will guide your paths:
He will give you a perfect peace on when to act.
We can know the right action to take, but if our spirit isn’t right, it can spoil the whole thing!
"But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who asks of you. And from him who takes away your goods do not ask them back. And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.
“But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same, And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back. But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful."
Luke 6:27-36
Refocus your life:
"If you would prepare your heart,
And stretch out your hands toward Him;
If iniquity were in your hand, and you put it far away,
And would not let wickedness dwell in your tents;
Then surely you could lift up your face without spot;
Yes, you could be steadfast, and not fear;
Because you would forget your misery,
And remember it as waters that have passed away,
And your life would be brighter than noonday.
Though you were dark, you would be like the morning."
Job 11:13-17
In closing....
Get your heart right:
Release and forgive
Reach out to God
Ready to face the world again
The results of doing this?
Past trouble and hurt will begin to fade in your memory.
Be firm and courageous: Go forth with faith knowing that God will be with you.
Victory comes when we sacrifice ourselves for the benefit of others.
If you want victory, if you want freedom:
Be bold and courageous, follow these steps, and God will make a way!
It's time to praise and worship and be thankful unto God for all that He has done for us!
It's time to make the list of things you are thankful for exceed your list of any complaints ...
Behave like a Christian..
"Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Therefore
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”
And now may the Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.
Now and forever, in Jesus' name
Amen
Brian Monzon Ministries