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Christian Family

Good Morning Family,

I hope you know what a blessing it is, to have all of you here.
After the Holy Trinity, family is so important!

Let us begin in prayer to our Father in Heaven..

Dear Heavenly Father,

As we gather in Your Holy presence today, we ask, that Your Spirit would fill our hearts and minds, that may we become and remain willing, committed and faithful servants to You and to others. May we be focused on spreading Your Gospel and Your Kingdom and the timeless message of the Cross at Calvary. Lord, we pray that the influence that You place in us is without compromise on our love, attention and care, for the lives You have entrusted to us, beginning with Your church and our families. We thank You Father, for blessing us with Your glorious presence through Your Holy Spirit, affording us the opportunity to worship You. In Jesus' name
Amen

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything."
Ephesians 5:22-24

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."
Ephesians 6:1-4

The Christian Family:

The Word of God has much to say about the home and the relationship of the family members. Success in your walk with God will depend in great measure upon establishing scriptural relationships with the other members of our family. For this reason the enemy will seek to cause confusion and strife in the house of a new Christian to discourage and bring him to failure. However, the Word of God has clear and powerful teaching which can help us to build solid, spiritual lives and homes.

God has structured the family along clear-cut lines of authority and responsibility. It is vital to recognize this structure of Divine Order at the beginning of your Christian life so that you may begin to practice these principles immediately.

Divine Order for the Family:            
Divine Order is an order of authority and responsibility which is spelled out in the Bible. The principles of Divine Order are outlined here and should be studied carefully.

Christ
The head of the husband:
Lord of the family.
Husband
The head of the wife:
Chief authority over the children.
Wife
The helpmeet to the husband
Genesis 2:18, Secondary authority over the children.

Children
Respectfully obedient to parents. 

1 Corinthians 11:3, "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God."              

Colossians 3:20, "Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord."

The husband lives under the authority of Christ and is responsible to Christ for the leadership and care of the family. The wife lives under the authority of her husband and is responsible to him. The children live under the authority of both parents and are commanded to honor and obey them in everything.

Since the above order is so clearly spelled out in the Bible, do no attempt to alter or modify it in any way. Changing the Divine Order brings much pain and confusion.
Attempting to modify the God's Divine order in any way.

Changing the Divine Order brings much chaos, pain and confusion.
And ultimately, destruction of the family..

The Wife’s Responsibility to her Husband
             
Ephesians 5:22-24, 33, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. ……Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."

Read 1 Peter 3:1-6

In the above scriptures there are two words that sum up the responsibility that a wife has to her husband. They are "submission" and "reverence". Let’s look at these two vital words a little closer.

Submission

Submission is one of the most beautiful and powerful concepts in the New Testament. To be submissive means to yield humble and intelligent, obedience to an ordained power or authority. God did not give this law of wives being submissive to their husband because He has a grudge against women. On the contrary, He established this order for the protection of women and the harmony of the home. God has given wives the opportunity to choose freely the submissive role, and He does not honor those who cling to their "rights", but those who choose freely to obey God and their husband.

A wife’s primary responsibility is to give of herself, her time, and her energy to her husband, children, and home. This does not mean that women cannot have responsible positions of leadership and still be in God’s plan. In the Old Testament and New Testament, we find many women that were used of God in positions of leadership.

Wives, rejoice in your husband’s authority over you! Be subject to him in all things. It is your special privilege to move under the protection of his authority. It is within this pattern of Divine Order that the Lord will meet you and bless you and make you a blessing to your husband, your children, your church, and your community. You actually come under a "double umbrella" of protection and favor, your husband’s AND God’s.

Reverence 

Please note how emphatically Paul states in Ephesians 5:33 that the wife is to "reverence her husband." Also, in 1 Peter 3:2, the same Greek word for reverence is translated "fear". "While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." Thus in both of these key passages on family relationships, the wife’s reverence for her husband is emphasized.

The fullest definition of this word can be found in the Amplified New Testament: "Let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband - that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him, and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly."

What about the unsaved husband? 1 Peter 3:1-2 gives us clear instructions as how a Christian wife can win her unsaved husband to the Lord. The Apostle Peter exhorts the wife to stop just talking about the Gospel to them and live a Christ-like life before them. The husband was to be won to the Lord not by nagging but by holy living. In time, the wife’s pure and modest manner of living, together with her reverence for her husband, would cause him to yield to God and obey the Gospel. 
Oh what a great promise this is!

Now, I need to add something to this ...

As you have already learned, it is Scripturaly right for a wife to submit to her husband as the leader of the home. There are times and situations when obedience is not possible. However the spirit and attitude of submission MUST ALWAYS be present! The wife of an unsaved husband will from time to time have a conflict of interest. The unsaved husband may ask the Christian wife to wear immodest clothing or make-up, attend a worldly event, etc. In such a situation you should carefully explain to the unsaved husband that you want to be submissive, and further explain that you have made a commitment to Christ which prevents you from immodest dress or involvement in things contrary to holiness. Ask him to reconsider his request. If he will not, as is the case from time to time, you must CAREFULLY refuse to compromise your relationship with God. 

Please note the following references of godly submission in the face of offensive authority.
Egyptian midwives and Moses’ mother disobeyed Pharaoh’s decree; 3 Hebrew boys refused to worship the image of gold yet submitted to the fire; Daniel disregarded the king’s decree and continued to pray to God; Joseph and Mary fled with the child Jesus when Herod desired to kill the baby; Peter preached in disobedience to the Jewish council, yet submitted to prison. More than adequate examples to prove that God will honor and protect those that put Him first in their lives.

The Husband's Responsibility To The Wife

"Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered."
1 Peter 3:7

Read Ephesians 5:25-33
            
Two key words sum up the New Testament teaching of the husband’s responsibility to his wife - Love and Honor.

Love
The husband is explicitly commanded to love his wife. Please note in Ephesians 5, that the husband is told three times to love his wife. While the scriptures put great emphasis on the submission of the wife, they also put equally strong emphasis on the fact that the husband must love his wife. This love may not always be a feeling of affection. There will be times when the husband feels anything BUT affection for her. For example: IF she does something foolish or without thinking. However, love is not primarily a feeling, but a choice for the other’s highest good. The husband must get control of his feelings and do that which is right. He must learn to forgive - as Jesus said, "….seventy times seven", Matthew 18:21-22. If he needs to reprove her, he must do it, but in love. His first duty is to be Christ-like to his wife. This means he must not only be a man of prayer, a man of the Word of Christ, a man of the church and a man of honesty and integrity, but he must be a man who shows Christ’s love. Without it, his marriage will be doomed to failure. 
    
Honor
In 1 Peter 3:7 the word "honor" is the translation of the same Greek word in 1 Peter 1:19 where it reads "precious", "…the precious blood of Christ…." Christian husbands are to deem the wives which God has given them precious, and are to treat them with honor. They should keep a special place of honor in their hearts for their wives, and should treat them with special courtesy, respect, and kindness. Proverbs 31:10 tells us the worth of a good wife, "….her price is far above rubies," and goes on to say that her husband "….praiseth her." Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all" in verses 28-29.

The scripture warns that when a husband does not treat his wife tenderly and honor her as a joint-heir of the grace of life, his prayers will be hindered. This emphasized God’s requirement that a husband show a proper consideration and respect for the feelings and dignity of his wife. In regard to honorable treatment of wives, Colossians 3:19 commands husbands to , "be not bitter against them." How often has God closed His heart to a man’s prayer because that same man had injured the spirit of his wife and closed his heart to her? Spiritual victory in our walk with God demands that personal relationships with our own family members be proper. The blessing of God depend upon it!
Because true marriage is essentially spiritual as well as personal and physical, staying in love is primarily a spiritual battle. It is for this reason that surrender to God is so important for a happy love-life.

Parent - Child Responsibilities
             
New Testament teaching concerning the responsibilities of parent to children and children to parents is summarized in the following verses:
            
Colossians 3:20-21, "Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."
            
Read Ephesians 6:1-4

Children

A child’s relationship to the Lord is in direct relation to the obedience which he gives to his parents. The Lord lives and works in and through the life of an obedient child. The child who knows exactly how far he can go is relieved of a heavy burden and therefore becomes a happy child. A child may test his parent’s authority, to see how far he can go. He may feel quite unhappy in a particular situation where his own will is at odds with his parents. But deep down he wants to know that the parents’ authority will stand firm, that he can depend upon it. A Holy Ghost filled youth or child may strain at parental authority, even rebel against it, but he will rebel even more - though often in disguised ways - against a lack of parental authority. When such a child persistently disobeys his parents, he experiences a deep discontent in his spirit, for his relationship with the Lord has been strained and grieved.

Please note Ephesians 6:1, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right." NO sins in scripture are so damnable as disobedience and rebellion, and no virtues are so blessed as obedience and loyalty. 


Parents

We could summarize the apostle’s commands to parents in these three words: love, discipline, and teach. This simple outline of parental responsibility is patterned after the way God deals with His children.

One of the most urgent needs today in Christian homes is for parents, especially fathers, to recognize their God-given responsibility and authority as it relates to their children. God, in His Word, speaks to the children to obey their parents. He also speaks to the parents instructing them to give proper leadership and guidance to their children. When God gives responsibility, He also gives authority to carry it out. A parent who is in Divine Order, has a God-given authority and MUST EXERCISE IT FOR THE WELL-BEING AND SALVATION OF THE FAMILY.

What happens when parents make a wrong decision, or give poor instructions to their children? Whenever this occurs and is recognized by the parent it should be confessed and corrected. We should never hesitate to confess a genuine mistake and ask forgiveness of our children, fearing that this will undercut our authority. 


OUR AUTHORITY IS NOT DERIVED FROM OURSELVES, OR FROM OUR FLAWLESS PERFORMANCE AS PARENTS! Nor is it derived from our children’s acceptance of that authority. The authority of parents depends upon God who has set them as authorities over their children. God honors honest and open repentance - in child or parent. The fear that you will lose status and authority with your child by confessing a mistake is the devil’s lie. On the contrary, your authority is actually confirmed and strengthened when you have the courage to be as honest and demanding of yourself as you want the child to be with himself and you.

We could summarize scriptural directives to parents in these three words: proclaim, pray and protect. These are some responsibilities Christian parents must accept in order to pattern their dealings with their children as God does with His children.


Proclaim

No teaching is more explicit and clear in the Bible, than that a father should, by precept and example, teach his children the way to serve God. Jewish fathers of the Old Testament were expressly commanded to be faithful in this matter.

“And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 

In Closing....

Bible teaching in the home is desperately needed today to undergird and strengthen the teaching and the preaching by the pastor from the pulpit. What an impact it makes on children and youth to see the faithfulness of parents joining with the pastor in proclaiming the Word of God.
Pray
         
The prayers of parents seem to have a special power with God in courts of heaven. WE must pray and intercede for their spiritual survival. Parents must not neglect their responsibility in this matter. Satan fears praying parents for he stands powerless before their spiritual attack.
           
Protect
            
Spiritual principalities and powers swarm about seeking to destroy the home. Paul distinctly said we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against these spiritual forces, Ephesians 6:12. Satan is, "….the god of this world…." 2 Corinthians 4:4, and his demons inhabit the atmosphere. In such conditions the sanctity of the home must be protected and preserved. It is the responsibility of parents to see that no defilement gain entrance into the home. Deuteronomy 11:21 likens the divinely ordained home to "heaven on earth". The only time this phrase is used in scripture.
           
Deuteronomy 7:26 "Nor shall you bring an abomination into your house, lest you be doomed to destruction like it. You shall utterly detest it and utterly abhor it, for it is an accursed thing."
            
Church, a great deal of evil has come upon the home because individual members have lost the blessing and protection of Divine Order. 
The husband must come under the authority of Christ, the wife under the authority of her husband, and children under the authority of their parents. 

Satan knows the power of divine order and that is why he uses every wile to undermine and break down this pattern for the family. But you can set up your family in Scriptural order and experience the blessing of God’s power and anointing continually on your home. 

May the Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you

The Lord life up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.
Now and forever, in Jesus' name
Amen

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Brian Monzon Ministries

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