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Family Life - Part Three

Good Morning Family!

There is an old saying "Home is where the heart is"
It's good to be home.. with all of you.

A family that has their focus on praying and a relationship with Jesus Christ has a foundation that though it may be shaken many times, it cannot fall. It will withstand all that comes against it.

Let us pray:

Heavenly Father,

We know that Your Word is the very foundation and structure of family. We know that prayer, is the glue that binds us and keeps us together as a family. Lord, help us to build up and strengthen our families, to teach love, honor and respect to our children, not by our words, by our examples. Help us to establish healthy and trusting relationships. Loving and merciful Father, I pray that you bless these families here today with Your favor. Provide for all of their needs. I ask You Lord, to protect them from harm and evil. Surround them in the shadow of Your wing. 
I ask that You would go before them and prepare the way for them. If any path is crooked, I would ask that You to make it straight. Protect them from the harmful schemes of the enemy and keep them far from his deceptions. 
Bring Your perfect peace to their hearts and minds, Lord. 
In Jesus name I ask and pray, Amen.

We begin our message today, with the Word of God..
"Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.
But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
1 Corinthians 7:2-9

“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church:
and he is the savior of the body”
Ephesians 5:23

One of the biggest problems we have in today's culture, is that many men do not understand their role in the success of the marriage and family. God has given the family detailed instructions, a clear path, and His plans always work, without fail, no matter the cultural background.

Most marriages begin before two people are truly ready to get married. They are full of expectations and hopes, but have very little, if any, understanding of what they are getting into. Many times, reality hits the morning after the wedding, when neither has any idea what to do next. 

Now that they realize that fulfillment of physical desire is a very small part of marriage, what are they supposed to do with the rest of their lives? Especially since, they likely do not even know the person well.

When marriage is built on physical desire, there is no foundation for the time when physical attraction fades. And believe me, it does!

Church, it is no wonder that so many marriages do not last today!
Statistics show that more and more marriages are failing after only one year, and most divorces occur within the first five years of marriage. 
Why is that?

The world is full of ideas of how men should act. The media would have us believe that the “big man" is cool. The man who has more than one sexual partner is presented as inviting, and sadly the example many young men want to follow, because it goes along with their instinctive nature. 
But let me assure, this road leads to destruction and the 'death' of the family.

"For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He ponders all his paths.
His own iniquities entrap the wicked man, and he is caught in the cords of his sin.
He shall die for lack of instruction, and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray."
Proverbs 5:21-23

Our source of understanding the man's role comes from the Word of God. The example of the first family created by God in the Garden of Eden is our starting point. Between Adam and Noah, there are few examples of godly husbands. Adam and Noah were not perfect either. They had their moments of doubt and failure, but God was faithful. He kept showing man the right way. Isaac did a better job than his father Abraham in being faithful to one wife, but his sons did not follow his example. 

So what is it a husband is supposed to do?

It is difficult for a man to admit that he needs help. Many men will run around in circles rather than stop and ask someone for directions. This independence goes against the basic principle of marriage explained in the second chapter of Genesis. God made the woman out of the man and brought her to him because he needed a helpmate.

Men should stop denying this fundamental principle of humanity. Something was missing in man’s life, and God knew exactly what it was. So, He made woman. Adam called her “woman,” because “she was taken out of man.”

Dr. James Dobson, in his book Solid Answers, cited the research of social commentator (someone who studies and reports about his society) George Gilder from his book Men and Marriage, when he wrote: “Men and women were designed for each other and often feel incomplete alone. Women do better without men than men without women.”

Unmarried men are far more likely to be alcoholic, drug users, convicted criminals, or of no good to society.
Landlords don’t want to rent to them.
Insurance companies don’t like to underwrite them.
Loan companies are reluctant to loan them money.
The unmarried male drives too fast, is hot-tempered, and tends to act without thinking.
He earns less money than the single woman, and is more likely to move from job to job.

Now please hear me out, there are many exceptions to this, but the unmarried young man is at risk for many antisocial behaviors. 
What happens when the young man marries? According to Dr. Dobson and Mr. Gilder, when he commits himself to a wife and children, most of his social liabilities disappear. Research about society in general has documented the following trends:

He now has a reason to live responsibly, work hard, and save for the future.
Instead of following his own selfish desires, he waits for what he wants and sacrifices for those who are counting on him.

He looks to the future more often.
Many times, he becomes a “pillar" of the community.

This has been generally referred to as “settling down” after “sowing wild oats.”

Dr. Dobson and Mr. Gilder continue, “A woman harnesses the sexual energy of a man that was a threat to society and turns its focus to protecting and providing for a family. This transformation is vital to the well-being of a culture.”

"God designed men to need a woman, and He made women to desire a man."
It is as simple as that, and we need to stop trying to change the way we are made. When men understand this, they are ready for the next step in their role as a husband, that of family “head.”

Look in God’s Word. 
Say that with me,
Look in God's Word!

When God made the first family, He said some basic things. We will keep reminding ourselves of these throughout this message, until hopefully, we will learn, remember and begin practice them. 

"And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
And Adam said:
“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” 

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."
Several things are evident here:

The woman was a part of the man, actually taken from his body.
The man recognized where she came from and that she was a missing part of him.
He was so close to this woman that he would leave his father and his mother, and actually stick to or hold fast, cleave, to her.
The man and his wife would be so close, in every way, that they share all of life.

This understanding of the shift in a husband’s loyalty from the parents to his wife is an important part of the role of a husband. He is no more a single being, but part of a whole that includes his wife. When this is clearly defined, it is easier to see what Paul was talking about when he wrote to the church at Ephesus:

"So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."

The apostle Paul wrote about the mystery of Christ and the church. This is the picture God gave to help us understand our relationship to Him.

The husband is to be head. 

Most do not even know what this means. But God’s Word makes it clear, using the comparison between Christ and the church and the husband and wife. Since the family is the most basic unit in society, it must have a leader. God has assigned this responsibility to the husband, and given him guidelines of how he must carry this out. It must be done in love, gentleness, and consideration for his wife and family.

Leadership and provision for the family’s spiritual and domestic needs.
Love, protection, security, and interest in her welfare in the same manner that Christ loves the church
Honor, understanding, appreciation, and thoughtfulness. 
Absolute faithfulness and fidelity to the marriage relationship.

The foundation of all roles of the married man is the attitude of service.
This attitude will cause a man to serve God with his whole heart, because he knows how much God loves him.
It will make him serve his wife in love as he tries to lead her by example to follow the Lord.
It will be the driving force behind every bit of training he gives to his children.

To many people, service means slavery. But these two words are defined very differently. Slavery is being forced to do something, with no reward for the effort. 
Service, on the other hand, is when someone makes a choice to help another and freely gives of his time and energy.

Service, comes from a true understanding of the verse in Scripture found in Acts 20:35,
"I have shown you in every way, by laboring like this, that you must support the weak. And remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’

This is the way Christ loves the church!!
Time and again, verse after verse we read of His attitude of service.

"Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

"Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross."

The portion of this verse that says God “made Himself of no reputation” literally means He “emptied Himself.” He willingly gave up His rightful place of glory and honor to become like us. He did this knowing that He was going to suffer, be misunderstood, be treated wrongly, hated, and even crucified.

Church, this description of the headship of Christ, our perfect example, makes it clear that men have completely forgotten their role in the family. 
When they look to Christ’s example, the attitude of service is evident. A husband cannot take over the headship of a woman and attempt to control and dominate her. That attitude is totally against everything the Bible teaches. Headship will serve, or it is not really headship, it is dictatorship.

In closing....

It's also important to note, that husbands are to submit to his wives needs, not her lead. If she needs help with the dishes, cooking or the kids, it's your God-given responsibility to help her.

The Bible gives clear direction. Men are designed by God to serve as the head of the family. They have a great responsibility. The problem comes when they do not follow God’s instructions. They have not listened to God’s Word or even read the instructions, but have tried to decide what was right and wrong using their own judgment. 

Men, let's face it, your poor choices in your own judgment and thinking, has greatly weakened marriage and severely damaged the family.
The weakening of the family is a very serious issue!
We must follow God's plan. 
Men must follow Christ as their head, so that they will be the “head” God intended for their family.

And now may the Lord bless you and keep you; 

the Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;

The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.

Now and forever, in Jesus' name

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Brian Monzon Ministries

The Brian Monzon Ministries



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