"Now in response to the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman.” 2 But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. 3 A husband should fulfill his marital responsibility to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. 4 A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another sexually—except when you agree for a time, to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say the following as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all people were just like me. But each has his own gift from God, one person in this way and another in that way.
8 I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am. 9 But if they do not have self-control, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire.
10 I command the married—not I, but the Lord—a wife is not to leave her husband. 11 But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband—and a husband is not to leave his wife. 12 But I (not the Lord) say to the rest: If any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him, he must not leave her. 13 Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not leave her husband. 14 For the unbelieving husband is set apart for God by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is set apart for God by the husband. Otherwise your children would be corrupt, but now they are set apart for God. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace. 16 For you, wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Or you, husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?
17 However, each one must live his life in the situation the Lord assigned when God called him. This is what I command in all the churches. 18 Was anyone already circumcised when he was called? He should not undo his circumcision. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? He should not get circumcised. 19 Circumcision does not matter and uncircumcision does not matter, but keeping God’s commands does. 20 Each person should remain in the life situation in which he was called. 21 Were you called while a slave? It should not be a concern to you. But if you can become free, by all means take the opportunity. 22 For he who is called by the Lord as a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who is called as a free man is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brothers, each person should remain with God in whatever situation he was called.
25 About virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I do give an opinion as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Therefore I consider this to be good because of the present distress: It is fine for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 However, if you do get married, you have not sinned, and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But such people will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. 29 And I say this, brothers: The time is limited, so from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none, 30 those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, 31 and those who use the world as though they did not make full use of it. For this world in its current form is passing away.
32 I want you to be without concerns. An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the things of the world—how he may please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 35 Now I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but because of what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.
36 But if any man thinks he is acting improperly toward his virgin, if she is past marriageable age, and so it must be, he can do what he wants. He is not sinning; they can get married. 37 But he who stands firm in his heart (who is under no compulsion, but has control over his own will) and has decided in his heart to keep his own virgin, will do well. 38 So then he who marries his virgin does well, but he who does not marry will do better.
39 A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to anyone she wants—only in the Lord. 40 But she is happier if she remains as she is, in my opinion. And I think that I also have the Spirit of God."
I Corinthians 7:1-40
Good Morning Beloved,
Welcome to worship!
We're so glad you've come to join us today
Today's Message: Singleness, Marriage and Divorce
With just one quick look at what I intend to cover this morning, and there is little to no doubt that I must be indeed at least a little insane! Both the nature and the extent of the material are both intimidating. However, there is a common motif, a frame as it were, throughout this section as it deals with aspects of marriage, divorce, remarriage and singleness. So, in order to o show and maintain this singular though process, a singular thread, we will be looking at this with a focus on the main points rather than all the many nuances.
And as such, this will be a look at the issues of marriage, divorce, remarriage and singleness that were most relevant to the situation in the early Corinthian church. Please understand that neither this today’s text nor the message I'm about to give, are intended to be an exhaustive analysis of all that Scripture teaches in regards to these subjects. And, I sure, at some other time, we will walk through a variety of messages that deals with these issues more exhaustively in the Word of God.
Open your Bibles with me please to the book of I Corinthians chapter 7. And, as I sated a moment ago, and we’re going to do something that I don’t do often. That is, we’re going to attempt to cover all forty verses of Paul's epistle at once. So, long story short, you’re going to have to stay with us on this, because I believe, that this is going to be a very rich experience in the Word of God.
Allow me to read to you as you follow along I Corinthians 7:1-40.
"Now in response to the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman.” But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. A husband should fulfill his marital responsibility to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. Do not deprive one another sexually—except when you agree for a time, to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say the following as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all people were just like me. But each has his own gift from God, one person in this way and another in that way.
I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am. But if they do not have self-control, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire.
I command the married—not I, but the Lord—a wife is not to leave her husband. But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband—and a husband is not to leave his wife. But I (not the Lord) say to the rest: If any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him, he must not leave her. Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not leave her husband. For the unbelieving husband is set apart for God by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is set apart for God by the husband. Otherwise your children would be corrupt, but now they are set apart for God. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace. For you, wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Or you, husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?
However, each one must live his life in the situation the Lord assigned when God called him. This is what I command in all the churches. Was anyone already circumcised when he was called? He should not undo his circumcision. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? He should not get circumcised. Circumcision does not matter and uncircumcision does not matter, but keeping God’s commands does. Each person should remain in the life situation in which he was called. Were you called while a slave? It should not be a concern to you. But if you can become free, by all means take the opportunity. For he who is called by the Lord as a slave is the Lord’s freedman.
Likewise he who is called as a free man is Christ’s slave. You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. Brothers, each person should remain with God in whatever situation he was called.
About virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I do give an opinion as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Therefore I consider this to be good because of the present distress: It is fine for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. However, if you do get married, you have not sinned, and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But such people will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. And I say this, brothers: The time is limited, so from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none, those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, and those who use the world as though they did not make full use of it. For this world in its current form is passing away.
I want you to be without concerns. An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the things of the world—how he may please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. Now I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but because of what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.
But if any man thinks he is acting improperly toward his virgin, if she is past marriageable age, and so it must be, he can do what he wants. He is not sinning; they can get married. But he who stands firm in his heart (who is under no compulsion, but has control over his own will) and has decided in his heart to keep his own virgin, will do well. So then he who marries his virgin does well, but he who does not marry will do better.
A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to anyone she wants—only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is, in my opinion. And I think that I also have the Spirit of God."
What, then, is the situation being addressed to the early Corinthian church? Anyone?
Well, I'd like to first, remind you, that Corinth was a pagan mega-city known for its immorality and sexual freedom. The second thing for you to keep in mind, is the Corinthian Church was comprised of young Christians, most of whom were gentile converts from the pagan religions. Then, thirdly, many of the Corinthian Christians have embraced the false view that the body belongs to the world, but the spirit to God. Fourth, they further embraced the false view that they had already achieved full spiritual completion and had already been made, at least in spirit, what they would be in heaven – ’like the angels.’
And as a result, some of them began to develop, teach and pressure others toward views of marriage, sex, divorce and singleness that the Holy Spirit used the apostle Paul to correct.
Let us bow our heads in prayer, and ask the Lord to lead us as we take a closer look at these issues and what we may learn and how to apply to our own situations today.
Heavenly Father,
Father, we thank You today for Your Word for us today. Lord, we pray that Your Spirit will help us to hopefully have a better understanding of Your truth on this, and we know that what You give us in Your Word, is always for our good. It is so that we can position ourselves in the place of maximum joy, to receive the maximum blessing, and remind us that we all need forgiveness.
Lord, we need Your grace, mercy and forgiveness for so many things in our lives. And there are those who, even those among us, that are experiencing some of the pain of breaking Your law in the past, Father, we ask that You would just remind them, that You’re a God of forgiveness, that You cleanse us from all our sins according to the riches of Your grace that are provided for us endlessly and boundlessly in Christ Jesus.
And all You ask of us is that we confess our wrong doings, that we repent, and that we start afresh, a new pattern of obedience in our lives right now. Lord, I pray, that Your grace would be upon all of us gathered here today and that the power of Your Holy Spirit, would be on us to enable us to live as You would have us live, regardless of whether single or married, whatever it is you have for us, may we know that clearly, may we live humbly, joyfully in the midst of all of that.
Lord, You provide so much for us, all that we so need, in order to be the people You desire us to be. Father, we acknowledge we are so unworthy of all that You so graciously bestow upon us and we thank you
In Your precious Son’s name, the name above all names
Jesus
Amen
Let’s begin, shall we? Chapter 7 verse 1, "Now concerning the things about which you wrote," and that’s why we believe these are questions that need to be answered because he’s referring directly to something that was written and sent to him, the apostle Paul, “concerning the things about which you wrote.” And you can imagine what was in that letter based upon the history that I just described to you, based upon the culture. So first, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. That’s a euphemism for sexual relationships. It is good, it’s okay. It’s good not to have sexual relationships.
Now that I at least have the men’s attention . . That is to say, it’s not evil. It’s good. It falls within the realm of goodness, kalos. It’s perfectly okay. However, celibacy is all right too. It’s honorable. It’s all right not to marry. It’s perfectly all right to stay single. It’s all right never to get married. But, verse 2, "But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. ." Why? Because of immoralities. Sexual immoralities.
So, this phrase at the end of verse 1, "It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman.”," is the Corinthian slogan that Paul is correcting in the following verses. Apparently, those in the Corinthian Church who considered themselves to have been already re-made in perfection – ’like the angels’ – interpreted this to mean that as the angels were sex-less so should they be. Therefore, for a man, even a married man, to have sexual relations with a woman, even his wife, was something they sought to forbid as inappropriate for a "transformed Christian."
By the way, reading these same verses, mistaking the Corinthian slogan as the words of God and therefore misinterpreting Paul’s response is the basis of the Catholic Church’s requirement of celibate priests and condemnation of any sexual relations between husband and wife that is not specifically for the purpose of procreation.
1. Husband & Wife
By strong contrast, Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, makes it clear that husbands and wives should be engaged in an active sex life. And, to do otherwise, is to "play with fire" and risk your spouse’s falling into extra-marital temptations.
2. Love & Pleasure
Furthermore, we see that Scripture acknowledges and even encourages intimate relations between a husband and wife that is simply for the purpose of expressing love and for one another's pleasure.
3. A Mutual Offering
Please note some important points here:
1. The 'authority over his/her body’ principle is given to both spouses.
2.The 'do not deprive’ principle is spoken to both spouses equally.
3. The ’giving in’ to one another is to be as a willful love offering, not a commanded obligation.
4. The only exception is for a focused period of devotion to God, but even that should not be long lest temptation overtakes.
In verse 6-9, there is the issue of to marry or be single. "I say the following as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all people were just like me. But each has his own gift from God, one person in this way and another in that way. I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am. But if they do not have self-control, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire."
This had become a HUGE question and point of contention in the Corinthian Church.
The argument was that as 'completed Christians’ who were 'to live as the angels live’ there should be no marriage. In defending this perspective, it seems the Corinthians pointed to Paul’s own single status as evidence. However, Paul, defends and honors both marriage and celibate singleness.
Please do keep in mind, however, though Paul was apparently single, he was most likely previously married at some point. Before his conversation, he was a Sanhedrin and it was required to be married in order to be a Sanhedrin. What happened to his wife? Scripture is silent, but this mention here seems to lend to the idea that possibly Paul is a widower, who chose not to remarry and was gifted by God to live in such a way while maintaining celibacy.
The phrase 'unmarried and widows’ is connected together. Because it was so uncommon for men to remain so for long, there was not a word in the Koine Greek Paul is using to refer to a 'widower.’ It is reasonable, based on context, that he is here referring not to all unmarried but to widowers and widows.
Paul says in verse 10, "I command the married—not I, but the Lord—a wife is not to leave her husband."
Of course, that brings us to the issue of divorce. Paul also has some instructions for divorce.
The above question was also posed to those already married: as 'completed Christians’ should they still be married or should they separate to devote themselves more fully to God and live ’as the angels do’? We see in verse 10, God Hates Divorce
The first and foremost principle of our Lord Jesus, Paul immediately points out, is that divorce should never happen. It is a violation of God’s plan and of the couple’s covenant before Him. Then he says in verse 11, "But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband—and a husband is not to leave his wife."
"But if she does leave . . ." Yet, even among Christian couples, this does happen and therefore it must be addressed. In Scripture, it acknowledges this as a sad but somewhat expected reality. Specifically, what are the implications for both spouses and/or the Christian community when there is a divorce?
The spouse who leaves is responsible to remain unmarried and celibate, at least until reconciled with their spouse. Similarly, the one abandoned is also to remain unmarried and celibate, at least until reconciled with the other spouse. So long as this is maintained there does not appear to be any cause for church discipline.
However, if this is not maintained, the offender is guilty of adultery.
What happens if one remains faithful and the other doesn’t is not addressed here, but was already clearly addressed by Jesus Christ in Matthew 5:27-32, where He says, "You have heard that it was said, Do not commit adultery.But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to go into hell!
"It was also said, Whoever divorces his wife must give her a written notice of divorce. But I tell you, everyone who divorces his wife, except in a case of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery."
So, what about a so called "mixed marriage?" No, not a racially mixed marriage, but a spiritually mixed marriage, where one spouse is saved and the other is an unbeliever. Paul says in verse 12 through 16, "But I (not the Lord) say to the rest: If any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him, he must not leave her. Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not leave her husband. For the unbelieving husband is set apart for God by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is set apart for God by the husband. Otherwise your children would be corrupt, but now they are set apart for God. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace. For you, wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Or you, husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?"
So, if one spouse has been saved and redeemed in Christ, but the other one remains opposed. What then? The argument of at least some Corinthian Christians seems to have been that to stay in such a relationship would defile the believer and that, therefore, any Christian whose spouse did not similarly convert, should immediately seek a divorce.
Paul tells them that they’ve got it all upside-down!!! Rather, he says, you should stay with your unbelieving spouse for their benefit. Having been saved, you can not now lose your salvation but your spouse can yet gain theirs.
"Sanctification" here does not refer to 'saving.' Rather, the point here, is that by staying with them you continue to expose your spouse to the wonders, grace and truth of God whereby they may yet grow closer, by grace through faith, be saved.
The mention in this next section of circumcision and slavery is simply meant as illustrations of the over-riding principle to this whole section and all of the questions being addressed.
To put it simply: Honor God in the state in which He has called you!
Paul says in verse 17 through 24, "However, each one must live his life in the situation the Lord assigned when God called him. This is what I command in all the churches. Was anyone already circumcised when he was called? He should not undo his circumcision. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? He should not get circumcised. Circumcision does not matter and uncircumcision does not matter, but keeping God’s commands does. Each person should remain in the life situation in which he was called. Were you called while a slave? It should not be a concern to you. But if you can become free, by all means take the opportunity. For he who is called by the Lord as a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who is called as a free man is Christ’s slave. You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. Brothers, each person should remain with God in whatever situation he was called."
In other words, if you were an uncircumcised gentile, stay that way. If a slave, serve God as a slave. If saved as a slave and then made free, serve God as a freeman. If born a freeman and become a slave, serve God as a slave.
There is, however, a biblical exception, if the unsaved spouse insists on leaving. The unbeliever is not bound as the believer is and should then be allowed, but never pushed, to leave or even divorce.
In verse 25 through 40, Paul now puts everything back together in view of the above principle of contentment in the Lord and His calling.
While single, be content and serve God as a single person. If married (whether to a believer or unbeliever, happy or unhappy, rich or poor, in sickness or in health), serve and honor God in that – in ALL things content in the Lord! The message here is that both marriage and celibacy and singleness can be honorable before God.
"About virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I do give an opinion as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Therefore I consider this to be good because of the present distress: It is fine for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. However, if you do get married, you have not sinned, and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But such people will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. And I say this, brothers: The time is limited, so from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none, those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, and those who use the world as though they did not make full use of it. For this world in its current form is passing away.
I want you to be without concerns. An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the things of the world—how he may please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. Now I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but because of what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.
But if any man thinks he is acting improperly toward his virgin, if she is past marriageable age, and so it must be, he can do what he wants. He is not sinning; they can get married. But he who stands firm in his heart, who is under no compulsion, but has control over his own will, and has decided in his heart to keep his own virgin, will do well. So then he who marries his virgin does well, but he who does not marry will do better.
A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to anyone she wants—only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is, in my opinion. And I think that I also have the Spirit of God."
However, "because of the present distress," Paul advises it may be best to remain single if one can do so in a manner honoring of the Lord.
"The present distress" was the reality of living in a highly sexualized, pagan culture that persecuted and oppressed Christians. Why might it be better to be single than married in such a situation?
With marriage comes greater personal responsibility and burden for others. With greater responsibility and burden for others, there is much more to risk losing. With much more to lose, there is naturally less boldness and freedom to serve the Lord, no matter what!
In verses 25-35, Paul talks about the advantages, and flexibility in verses 29-31.
Then he speaks about undivided devotion in verses 32-35.
The challenges in verses in 36-38.
Married or single? First time or second time? It is a matter of the heart!
If your heart is right before the Lord, then to marry is well and to remain single is well.
In circumstances such as those the Corinthians face, to remain single is even better. If you can resist the sexual urges, the advantages of being a single Christian in such a situation outweigh those of being married.
He speaks about the widowed, in verses 39-40.
According to Scripture, a Christian is bound to their spouse while that spouse is living. A widow or widower, however, is free to remarry. Yet, at least in circumstances such as these, it would still be better to remain single and devoted to the Lord for those able to remain pure while doing so.
What about me, here, today? Where is your heart? Before the Lord? Before your spouse or loved one? Where is your contentment? It can be difficult for us born in a society of religious freedoms and Judeo Christian laws to translate the Corinthian experience.
However, beloved, if you haven’t noticed things, aren’t what they used to be! Our society’s attitudes about marriage, sex, the body, the Bible and religious freedom for Christians are rapidly eroding away and radically changing.
How will YOU respond to this in your attitudes and decisions regarding your purity, situation in life, singleness or marriage?
And now may the Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.
Now and forever, in Jesus' name
Amen
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